le sigh

i read a bumper sticker that says " happiness is like a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will elude you".there is no need for a genius to know my previous posts shows that hapiness is FAR away from myself.

this week well, with exams, studying past midnight at library,as i TRY to keep it away.to distract myself. well, this semester exam is my hardest ever, because there is TOO much happening behind the scene.it hard to keep focus when there is something behind your head rite?

i noticed that there is A LOT of gap in myself as in, i dont really know what to do in my free time. some say study lah.well, study is always a good thing, but as some might know me from last time, studying too much is NOT good. to the extend that i studied even while waiting for the bus in the morning. working too hard like that make me realised that i missed out on a LOT of things.but then again, what am doing lately is like a repetition of before.but if i don study, well there is the sense of the the" not so niceness" comes and somtimes make me feel that i really wanted to put my phone away. is it just me or or i make my own life too complicated?

last nite i been told, that i have everything and i have no reason to complain.maybe to certain extend its true but all the complain means there is lots of unsatisfation in me. thinking back, i got a lot of decision that its in my hand that i could make, but i make a lots of should i say bad one? it that why i m not happy lots of time? but then, like the saying goes, " the grass might not be greener on the other side after all"

somehow i wish i have more papers. or the new semester will start as soon as the last paper is done, as i would be able to try to fill my time and hoping for the time to fly,as now, one hour seems like forever especially during the night that i cant force myself to sleep.maybe thats why the visit to the lib, so i would be too tired to think of anything. life is bad when it hurts a LOT huh?