If You Don't do it, You Don't Really Believe it. Some people spend their whole time searching for what's right, but they can't seem to find any time to practice it. Your life story is not written with a pen, but with your actions. To do nothing is the way to be nothing.

Sunday, November 13, 2011


I sat there with him 4 years ago, in the park enjoying our drinks and bagel. It was a small park, where local kids playing and kicking football on a quiet and yet wind late spring weather. We had a chat, and we have a common dream on moving here one day. While mom dad and sister shops for shoes, we both enjoy a similar liking of the place. Fast forward from Florence to KL today, he is now at least half the way there and I am still way far away from moving to Europe.

I went to the musical a few weeks ago, presented by The Star. It's called In Perfect Harmony.The musical represent how music have influence our life in Malaysia from the great P.Ramlee to Justin Bieber, and how time have transcendent and evolve the music we listen. One of the song that struck me was our local chinese artise, Guang Liang's Tong Hua or Fairytale. It did brought me back when some of my female friends from school sang it like a choir. Most of them are english educated and can hardly speak a word of chinese. 

Looking back then is when I had the longest holiday after my SPM. Time were good until all the complication occurs or in other words the girl trouble starts. Then come MMU, where at the beginning I was very reluctant to go let it be the engineer course or be it the place, Melaka. Growing up in the Beverly Hills of Malaysia, did have it perks and bad side. And of course you come to a smaller town with a big ass ego and rep. The perks are when you mention you stay in Bangsar, the girls will want to be near you, but the bad part is some were taken a back step, rather feeling inferior or just hate the cockyness. And another bad side of it, although I grew up there, I am not the Bangsar people that people have the impression of, as I am not from the wealthy family.

After all my resistance I start MMU unwillingly, however I did make a few good friends at my orientation. One of the first few friend I've made, is this guy from Perlis. Coincidentally he also stays at the same condominium as I am, to my surprise I met him at class. So I think to myself, not so bad lah, as he seems like a decent guy, and not like those people your parents warn about before stepping in uni to avoid. However, he don't seem like want to hang out after class. When I asked him for dinner, go to town, or sports, he will either decline or 'see lah'- which is a No. I thought I did something that offended him or disturbing him with many questions.But then again, he did join occasionally. One year later we are housemate in Cyberjaya. 

To be honest I am not the best engineer around, after 5 years of studying, I can say I learn very minimal. or at least I remember very minimal things now. Which is sometimes a bit added pressure at work where expectation is there as I am an 'engineer'. Am sure my boss would be sweating if he reads this.

However, it is not that I play around at university, I did put in a lot of effort in my studies and exams but my results did not reflect it at all. What do you do when you try your level best and yet the result indicate as if you did not study, it did not do any justice at all. However I learn A LOT more outside the class, things like something even Harvard class room did not teach you, it is a life lesson that no book can teach. It is life lesson such as friendship, and going through hard time- endurance and perseverance. 

Graduation came along, and lots of congratulation messages comes. One of it says " Congrats Asst.Editor" it is from one of my group member during the Brats camp, one of them are now even working for The Star, and recently promoted from the Daily Chili to Star Metro. As I walked out of the musical, I texted one of them, the only one that I am currently keeping in touch. Coincidentally as well, she is just graduated and searching for job and considering a career in journalism, even though studied marine biology. 

Passing by a blog the other day, got the core of the post, which is why people afraid to chance what they want. People work in something that their heart not in it, and then they complain and they can't perform, and the cycle continues. Why we are afraid? Probably because it is out of the norm. For example one of my classmate from engineering school now is an air steward. He goes a great length to go the normal route of an engineering student - to go in manufacturing line. Few have such courage, and I feel that I am one of them who don't have the courage. Why? because if we go against the norm, if we fall, everyone will point finger at you and say 'told you so!' 

I love writing, its a way to express myself. I love helping out and trying to make a change. I love wealth, as materialistic as it sound, money speaks. I love travelling, seeing different people,culture and places. Thus the question is why did I not follow the journalist path? why did I not join World Vision? It's like Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, sometimes you are the angle, and sometimes you are the devil, but at the center of it, is the coward and lack of courage to go against the norm.