Live like you were dying

That is the title of the song sang by Tim Mcgraw and the American Idol winner Scotty. It literally means living life to the max, as if everything gonna end. I feel I did it for the early 7 months of 2011 until uni life ends in June....

I went : 

Airplane flying 

Marathon running

60 minutes with a burger call "Goliath"

and love deeper

Spoke sweeter

and give forgiveness that I've been denying

And I hope someday you get the chance, to live like you were dying!

Happy new year, 2012. Says a lot from facebook or smses. Its the new year again, the Mayan's says it will be the end of the world, on 20th December. I still remember the way I've ushered 2011, where was on my way back to Cyberjaya from my Final Year Project in Melaka, got 2 regular pizza and continue work on it. E-1-B the house that I've rented for the past 4 years, are empty as the rest went to celebrate. For that 7 months, I've really work for my thesis. Although the outcome is not what I've expected, a B+, I feel it is a great injustice even after appealing. But like all the exams I feel that I've given my all, thus there are no regrets.

2011 have been a good year. but there are also a significant loss I feel. As only when I beginning to enjoy my time in university, time is up.And time to say goodbye. My wish is to have a meal each with those few group of friend of mine. Probably at Hb with the hostel friends, or SK hawker with the other gang, or just random crazy meal with the housemates, even the nasi lemak from indon with the roommate.

But life is never what you wish for. Now everyone on different path of life. How many will still keep in touch it will tell in few years. I always evaluate it, when 2 friends meet again after a long period, how "mesra" their relationship is, is it the same of they are out of topic to chat.

One of the most important thing I've learn for the past 4 years is 'Togetherness'. Friendship, Courtship, Family. Thank you all for making my 4 years special, hope we all can be together again. One day.

As for 2012, there is only one thing for certain, that I've know of, financial difficulty.

Back to December

Today the first of December,also my first attemp to update my blog via my mobile.it's been a few weeks since I've downloaded this apps.

So the big day is approaching,for me to turn to the big 23.the number held great significant especially in the sporting world,made famous by an NBA legend-Michael Jordan,and then by David Joseph Beckham.

There been a buzz at home asking for what I would like to have for my birthday.To be honest I don't really have the desire to have anything that is wrapped in a box and those fancy wrapping paper and ribbon.

If a genie really exist and grant me 3 wishes,I would say in my ideal world,I would be an airline pilot that is based in Penang island,having a place around Straits Quay area or Miami bay,having my gf nearby in her dream job at intel,with my mom and sister having a partnership running their food business and dad and bro too have their partnership.

But in reality,pilot won't b based in Penang,and after hard selling,mom won't send me to flying school even when if she could afford.but for the rest,it seems more realistic,where the gf is more likely to get a job in intel,and my siblings and parents are likely to run business.thus back to square one,I hope to find hapineess in my 23rd year.hapiness can not b in monetery form,although having a little bit extra dough is not a bad thing.

Hapiness can be in a form of being able to do what ever u want to do and when.I promise myself not to miss the Penang jazz festival this year.it's always either this or the monsoon cup that I wanted to watch.however I have to give it a miss due to exams,or assignments as this time is normally a short semester.regardless of that,it's been a tradition for me personally to go on a week 'break' in a run up to my bid day.I would then pamper myself.

But in the working world is a totally different ball game,although having extra financial muscle compared to working,working commitment unable me to go and have a good time on my big day.thus till next year I have to say,Penang jazz festival,hard rock cafe and all my lovely friends that I've promise to go down.hope you all will still remember me this time next year.

Hi

I sat there with him 4 years ago, in the park enjoying our drinks and bagel. It was a small park, where local kids playing and kicking football on a quiet and yet wind late spring weather. We had a chat, and we have a common dream on moving here one day. While mom dad and sister shops for shoes, we both enjoy a similar liking of the place. Fast forward from Florence to KL today, he is now at least half the way there and I am still way far away from moving to Europe.

I went to the musical a few weeks ago, presented by The Star. It's called In Perfect Harmony.The musical represent how music have influence our life in Malaysia from the great P.Ramlee to Justin Bieber, and how time have transcendent and evolve the music we listen. One of the song that struck me was our local chinese artise, Guang Liang's Tong Hua or Fairytale. It did brought me back when some of my female friends from school sang it like a choir. Most of them are english educated and can hardly speak a word of chinese. 

Looking back then is when I had the longest holiday after my SPM. Time were good until all the complication occurs or in other words the girl trouble starts. Then come MMU, where at the beginning I was very reluctant to go let it be the engineer course or be it the place, Melaka. Growing up in the Beverly Hills of Malaysia, did have it perks and bad side. And of course you come to a smaller town with a big ass ego and rep. The perks are when you mention you stay in Bangsar, the girls will want to be near you, but the bad part is some were taken a back step, rather feeling inferior or just hate the cockyness. And another bad side of it, although I grew up there, I am not the Bangsar people that people have the impression of, as I am not from the wealthy family.

After all my resistance I start MMU unwillingly, however I did make a few good friends at my orientation. One of the first few friend I've made, is this guy from Perlis. Coincidentally he also stays at the same condominium as I am, to my surprise I met him at class. So I think to myself, not so bad lah, as he seems like a decent guy, and not like those people your parents warn about before stepping in uni to avoid. However, he don't seem like want to hang out after class. When I asked him for dinner, go to town, or sports, he will either decline or 'see lah'- which is a No. I thought I did something that offended him or disturbing him with many questions.But then again, he did join occasionally. One year later we are housemate in Cyberjaya. 

To be honest I am not the best engineer around, after 5 years of studying, I can say I learn very minimal. or at least I remember very minimal things now. Which is sometimes a bit added pressure at work where expectation is there as I am an 'engineer'. Am sure my boss would be sweating if he reads this.

However, it is not that I play around at university, I did put in a lot of effort in my studies and exams but my results did not reflect it at all. What do you do when you try your level best and yet the result indicate as if you did not study, it did not do any justice at all. However I learn A LOT more outside the class, things like something even Harvard class room did not teach you, it is a life lesson that no book can teach. It is life lesson such as friendship, and going through hard time- endurance and perseverance. 

Graduation came along, and lots of congratulation messages comes. One of it says " Congrats Asst.Editor" it is from one of my group member during the Brats camp, one of them are now even working for The Star, and recently promoted from the Daily Chili to Star Metro. As I walked out of the musical, I texted one of them, the only one that I am currently keeping in touch. Coincidentally as well, she is just graduated and searching for job and considering a career in journalism, even though studied marine biology. 

Passing by a blog the other day, got the core of the post, which is why people afraid to chance what they want. People work in something that their heart not in it, and then they complain and they can't perform, and the cycle continues. Why we are afraid? Probably because it is out of the norm. For example one of my classmate from engineering school now is an air steward. He goes a great length to go the normal route of an engineering student - to go in manufacturing line. Few have such courage, and I feel that I am one of them who don't have the courage. Why? because if we go against the norm, if we fall, everyone will point finger at you and say 'told you so!' 

I love writing, its a way to express myself. I love helping out and trying to make a change. I love wealth, as materialistic as it sound, money speaks. I love travelling, seeing different people,culture and places. Thus the question is why did I not follow the journalist path? why did I not join World Vision? It's like Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, sometimes you are the angle, and sometimes you are the devil, but at the center of it, is the coward and lack of courage to go against the norm. 

  

Is this goodbye?

We begin the journey together, and we ended it together. There are lots of time that I feel that I won't be able to make it, especially when failures come in the way. And some that I share with, will know that I will tell them Sorry I won't be able to graduate with them.

As multiple failures comes in this past 5 years, some that are known and some that I still kept away, as I did not want to make my family worry. I am thankful to those that stood by me during the hard time. Offering me their help and support and even till today. Let it be some tough love, that tell me off, or console me when am down. Thank you very much. They know who they are.

As "Permata Dunia" first played during orientation, it was also fitting the last song we sang during the convocation. The scene of friends holding each other, on the shoulder singing the song away, some holding back their tears, its a very powerful atmosphere filled with emotion. And it is understandable as everyone spend 5 years together. Of course there is always a bond there.

For me personally, its a bitter-sweet time, and at the end of the day, I know I will miss this place and all the colourful characters that is the pallets to my university portrait.  As much as I always finding a way to get out or switch my university path, this place have taught me a lot. Maybe not in an engineering way, as I've forgotten lots of what I've studied, but I've learn a lot more than what the text book could ever offer. The value of friendship, and being away from home makes me appreciate home more. Of course I would have pay more attention to my studies if I could redo this all again. But looking foward, this weekend is probably the last time ever there will be this massive gathering.

I won't be able to know when will I will have a meal, or just chit chat with some of them, especially those who chose their path out of KL or those that you did not take the time to know them well, and during convo, your conversation with them is more than the period in this 5 years.

The promise and the dream of my parents have been fulfilled, as they wanted all their children to get a university degree. As my journey officially ended I will miss.... ( in no particular order)

1. E-1-B
2. The makan
3. late night supper
4. random movie 
5. the flexibility of going out anytime
6. skipping class especially when its raining at 8am
7. early morning champion league football
8. badminton, smashing people
9. the nano permanent trio for assignment and exams
10. weird by my FYP
11. pillow talk
12. gossips/ scandals
13. Indon food delivery
14. Puchong Yong Tofu
15. S.K hawker
16. Last minute cramp for exams in library
17. Last minute assignment dateline, where the next morning we are all like zombie but still energetic to go and eat wantan mee or dengkil chicken rice
18. FCM ah Neh, that scold people who cuts queue when taking roti canai
19. Lesser worries compare to working life
20. Cyber tracker
21. And the list continues.....

Is this real

The reality setting in, two month of officially working. I am now on the threshold of adulthood. Although there are still a lot to learn in the office, financially, its a bit far from settle.

My boss asked me and a few other in one of our discussion, " Do you think you are at the level where you could afford a coffee from Starbucks?" To be honest, No I don think I am at that level yet. Even as a student, I did not step into Starbucks more than 10 times. But as you can see at the mall, majority of the customers are students or working class people. I do asked myself, "How can people afford it?" Not only Starbucks, due to the technology that we have today called Facebook I see lots having drink at fancy places like Library to have a pine of beer, how much does that cost? I am sure it is more than RM 5. So coming back to square one, "How people can afford it?"

So far, some of the possibilities are,

• Is my pay that low? or it is just their pay is higher?
• Am I just stingy?

This can go on and on as there are numerous possibilities. But I feel that the best is, we ourself know what we want.Maybe its how they want their lifestyle is, after a hard day of work, its time to blow off some steam to enjoy with friends. This is a subjective issue, where there is no wrong or right answer.

Last Monday and Tuesday I went down to Terengganu for work. It is one of the places that I would like to visit other than Penang before I started work, however, the circumstances does not allow me to. Although I went there with not the ideal purpose ( no offense boss, it is just that I would like to go there for holiday instead of work along with my frens). The road towards Terengganu is awesome, one should really have a drive there. Yes it is a 7-8 hours drive, but with the beautiful view especially the Rantau Abang stretch where you can see the beach all along the way, it just make it worth it. It is some of the things that I would like to share with my frens and love one if possible.

There are a lot of amazing things just behind our backyard, although sometimes it feels lonely to travel alone, I know I have an amazing travelling partner unfortunately she is 2 hours away. * Rindu...*

Negaraku

July have been quite eventful for Malaysia. One common denominator is, Yellow or Kuning. First was the Bersih rally where the demand for 'Clean election'. I agree that election have to be clean. But how do we ensure it? It is still up in the air, people can argue till the cow come home, and still the argument won't end I would say. In the end, those who lose the election will say its it dirty, and those who win, will say it fair. Regardless which political party. Isn't it natural human behavior?

What ever it is, I find it absurd that in the social media where right after the rally when the PM went to England to meet the Queen, claim that the queen wears yellow in support for the Bersih rally. Isn't yellow a royal colour? And visiting the Queen and also the Pope is not something you arrange overnight, as they are busy people. So the claim that the PM go overseas to avoid or clean up after the rally just doesn't make sense to me. However it is a mistake that the PM made when he says the rally can be held in a stadium but deny Stadium Merdeka.

Well, we have to hit people when they do wrong and we have to give big hands to them when they do something right.  Fair enough?

But apart from that, where opinion are still divided, one event that unites all Malaysia.

Malaysia vs Singapore for the 2014 World cup qualifiers. There have been a lot of buzz in Malaysian football lately. Especially after the SEA game, and AFC Suzuki cup triumph, plus the friendly with 3 EPL giant. Singapore or after Thursday match known as Singapura-pura is the traditional rival to Malaysia in football point of view. After watching them lose with quite a respectable scoreline to Liverpool, I bought the ticket. If they can play like how they did against Liverpool, Singapore are in for a beating. And the under 23 team just lose 1-0 to Chelsea. of course that is mainly because you have the best team in the country, back 3. The back 3 was from the Kelantan team. If only Rajagopal put his faith in the Kelantan player in the first leg. Why la play Khairul Fahmi in goal only in the 2nd leg?

Because VVIP is better than VIP

So off I went after work to Bukit Jalil stadium, prior to that, went to Subang to meet up with my dad and some of his friends who made their way from Penang. And we thank God we have this parking, else parking would b hell.

The highway heading towards Bukit Jalil was full of Malaysia. I can see their car decorated with the Jalur Gemilang. Also in the lrt where people either wear yellow or blue ( the night's kit). Vuvuzelas, horns, drum, all of it are brought to bring a carnival atmosphere and support the Harimau Malaya.

The stadium was sandwich even as early as 8pm, there are no seat available. The crowd spill onto the walkway. The atmosphere was so tense until the Singapore enterence was guarded by police.

The crowd was in a jovial mood before the kickoff. People are singing, and having positive and belive that Harimau Malaya could overturn the 2 goal deficit.

Vuvuzelas and horns are blown while the players are warming up... until..... singaporean clown try to push their luck, where 3 of them walk into the Malaysian side of crowd. It could be a similar incident of the Man Utd fan that walks into the Liverpool training session. The crowd waste no time jeering and boo-ing them. Until they leave immediately.

When both teams are out, the Singapore national anthem plays in the air, however the crowd boo and the horn are honking until you can't really hear the national anthem. It is then proceed with Negaraku. It is one of the loudest Negaraku I've ever heard. Everyone was singing their heart out.  

Although the team lost on aggregate. But looking at the bigger picture I think we have already won before the kick off. When the national anthem was playing, man, woman , children even disable people come and support the national team and sang Negaraku loudly and proudly. Regardless the event at early of the month that divided the nation from various political thinking, here through sport, it is just an epitome on how Malaysia should be, united as one.