If You Don't do it, You Don't Really Believe it. Some people spend their whole time searching for what's right, but they can't seem to find any time to practice it. Your life story is not written with a pen, but with your actions. To do nothing is the way to be nothing.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

post exam

The curtain for this semester come to a close, funnily am still at campus, hoping and literally praying that I can make at least some progress on my thesis. But hopefully this is the last semester break I will be spending here. As much as I am going to miss E-1-B, been here for 4 years, somehow the feeling of attachment will grow. Thick and thin, a lot of happy and sad memories are all stored here.

I remember someone asked me, "hey what year are you in now?"  at that time I was in my second year, not giving much to the alpha,beta etc year thing, I replied " epsilon"...  and the person asked "wow how can u survive so long here?!" Lynda, the person was you. And now you are going for internship next semester.

After the finals paper, I start to doubt myself if next semester  will be my last semester. The paper is quite tough even if the coursework mark is quite OK. 2 weeks of exams and also Chinese New Year passed by so fast, and here come this 2 weeks of so called semester break. Next, the new semester. The wait for the finals result is not quite the nicest of experience. What I have learn for this past 2 weeks is, life is quite unpredictable.

I witness 2 person laptop was stole, one person's father passed away, another person's mother woke up from a coma, and my plans are hanging on a thin thread because of the finals. It shows that our life is fragile, even if we have tons of wonderful plans, but the outcome or the implementation might be different. Maybe for the better or maybe for the worst.

                       "The chicken doesn't know the egg will hatch or be an omelette" - 3 idiots

Friday, February 11, 2011

13 weeks all we have

13 weeks, looking at the academic calender its all the time I have in MMU. The first time I got the offer letter, I was not ecstatic to say the very least, somehow my parents stood their ground and won't budge. After a blink of an eye its already almost time to say goodbye. Begin with the wrong steps, I hope to end it with the right one.

So Chinese New Year almost come to an end. Being always with the 'whats next' attitude, I have several plans to do after ending my study here. I planned to sent in the job applications after Chinese New Year, somehow, let it be the lack of courage to figure out the unknown , waiting for other opportunity, whatever it is, I felt reluctant to submit my applications. Although I have my preference, I learn not to rule out any possibilities, thus leaving me currently in a limbo, lost. At the same time, I just wanna enjoy and appreciate the moment I have left here, thus having a 'whats next' attitude does not go down well.

Having finals right after the Chinese New Year is just horrible timing to be honest. But is there any use really in complaining? I cut short my holiday and flew back early even though my paper is way at the end of the exam period. This year, a picture of a man is up upon a request of my grandma. The man is her late husband, my late grandpa. She requested me to put up his picture, I remember the picture. Its the one that I held during the funeral and also on the way back from the crematorium. She also asked me to look at certain papers, whether if its still useful. Upon the pile of papers, I stumble upon grandpa's dead cert. Its been 8 years since he left us.Even though I can hardly speak to him due to my poor command of Cantonese, I always remember how he asked me to seat next to him to watch badminton or WWF RAW!

After he left us, mom really step up to the plate. Her attention diverted grandma, until today. Not failing to call her every night, even if we are on vacation. Although there is a point where I felt why she is not bothering bout me, or help me, but that feeling is just because I was bitter about not being enrolled in the flying school. I did confront her, but I guess I disappoint her when I did that. She felt that I was big enough to be independent, thus she pays more attention on grandma and also other cousins that need her attention. Now I do start to understand her more, and I know when the time comes, her attention will be on my cousins. Her aim is to help them especially with their educations for a better future.

Its her birthday on the 19th and also my last paper. I hope to give her a dean's list as a gift. If that fails, I hope she don't mind a late gift with the degree cert. This what's motivate me. Happy early birthday mom.