If You Don't do it, You Don't Really Believe it. Some people spend their whole time searching for what's right, but they can't seem to find any time to practice it. Your life story is not written with a pen, but with your actions. To do nothing is the way to be nothing.
Friday, February 11, 2011
13 weeks all we have
So Chinese New Year almost come to an end. Being always with the 'whats next' attitude, I have several plans to do after ending my study here. I planned to sent in the job applications after Chinese New Year, somehow, let it be the lack of courage to figure out the unknown , waiting for other opportunity, whatever it is, I felt reluctant to submit my applications. Although I have my preference, I learn not to rule out any possibilities, thus leaving me currently in a limbo, lost. At the same time, I just wanna enjoy and appreciate the moment I have left here, thus having a 'whats next' attitude does not go down well.
Having finals right after the Chinese New Year is just horrible timing to be honest. But is there any use really in complaining? I cut short my holiday and flew back early even though my paper is way at the end of the exam period. This year, a picture of a man is up upon a request of my grandma. The man is her late husband, my late grandpa. She requested me to put up his picture, I remember the picture. Its the one that I held during the funeral and also on the way back from the crematorium. She also asked me to look at certain papers, whether if its still useful. Upon the pile of papers, I stumble upon grandpa's dead cert. Its been 8 years since he left us.Even though I can hardly speak to him due to my poor command of Cantonese, I always remember how he asked me to seat next to him to watch badminton or WWF RAW!
After he left us, mom really step up to the plate. Her attention diverted grandma, until today. Not failing to call her every night, even if we are on vacation. Although there is a point where I felt why she is not bothering bout me, or help me, but that feeling is just because I was bitter about not being enrolled in the flying school. I did confront her, but I guess I disappoint her when I did that. She felt that I was big enough to be independent, thus she pays more attention on grandma and also other cousins that need her attention. Now I do start to understand her more, and I know when the time comes, her attention will be on my cousins. Her aim is to help them especially with their educations for a better future.
Its her birthday on the 19th and also my last paper. I hope to give her a dean's list as a gift. If that fails, I hope she don't mind a late gift with the degree cert. This what's motivate me. Happy early birthday mom.