If You Don't do it, You Don't Really Believe it. Some people spend their whole time searching for what's right, but they can't seem to find any time to practice it. Your life story is not written with a pen, but with your actions. To do nothing is the way to be nothing.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

goin off..

i'll be off today...

selamat hari raya and happy b'day Jansen. bye.. and goodluck to everyone with the finals..

Isaiah 55: everything happen for a reason, you just have to have faith and belive in HIM.

Monday, September 22, 2008

rule of thumb

  • don't get girl if u don't know her
  • no matter how attractive they can be, get to know them first!
  • don't get them if u cant tahan their attitude
  • don't get them if they are extremely stubborn
  • don't get them if they annoy the shit out of u.

**shit i gonna die old and grumpy, and maybe gay!

Saturday, September 20, 2008

stop this shit

aren't you tired of shit like this?

c'mon, this is the year 2008, and its not the 60's or 70's where u can get away with racial slur. its so tiring and sickening to read all of these thing about the country, our neighbours probably be laughing at us, as we fight with each other. so those who is in the power struggle to "lead" the country, just grow up, stop pointing fingers, stop playing mind games, as what all of the propaganda of all the political party, let it be the government or the opposition, everyone says they are here for the good of the rakyat, well, take a hard look at yourself everyone, the good of the rakyat is at the very core. which is peace and harmony and back to our own country basic, the warga "malaysia"

we all belive in peace, and all we care about is having a great time with each other, and mix with whoever we want, and NOT the race or color,different ethinic or belief....we could care less if you're malay, chinese or indian or whatever or wherever u come from, now... thats the suara of this rakyat.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

goodbye and good luck raja..

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever ( and the music goes on playing at the background..)

all smiles, phone call from indon from mithra


with 10 mins more to go..

flower from dena

time for last pic

"here i go"

"see you guys"

"why take so long!, talkin about effeciency"

"adik ada bawak dadah tak?"

"am gone guys!, see u in a year"

leaving some in tears...

goodbye!do take care. hope to hear from you soon, whatever you do, don make the so called "culture" to change you. know who u are and be who u are.you're probably the strongest, academically, and probably mentally, among us, so don let anything over there shake you. we all here will miss you buddy, go there and make all of us proud of u, as we are already proud of u. good luck, not like you need any-lah. and most of all, keep your feet on the ground, be humble, be kind, and be generous with those man u jersey will you? :P

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

the prayer

I pray you'll be alright
And help you to be wise, in times when you dont know
Lead u to the place, guide u with HIS grace
To a place where you'll be safe
when u lose your way

I pray you'll find the light
And hold it in your heart
When stars go out each night

In my prayer
When shadows fill your day
HE will give u faith so you'll be safe

Monday, September 15, 2008

happy vs sad news, stuck in the middle

" write to me k?" she said at a tone that well, can be said full of sadness and sincerity, after giving me a hug at the hotel lobby. all i can tell her is .. "k" was thinking why din't i asked her to stay around with me at the hotel till her flight the next day, only even if its for a day.

then the sun rose, i woke up from my sleep, i know that wasn't a dream. because that what really happen when i said bid my goodbye to her at Astoria's lobby. though it happened months ago. i know she will go back to Japan and taking her exam and then moved to the states to further her studies. never expect that she will have a time to write. but she did. but then again she stopped. and now she write again, saying she is at New york.

well goodbye is always hard, sadly i have to say goodbye to one of my good friend this week, who is flying to the UK to further his studies. there are lots of them who flew away, mayb they are busier than me thats y they don't have the time to catch up, though when they are back, there are some meeting up session.

its been an up and down road today. the day start off great, with the lecturer loving the presentation, thus good marks are expected, A+? then as i heard the night before about one of MMu's student passed away. though i don't know that guy personally, there are lots of material enough to read to show what kinda a fella he is. plus, losing someone, a friend or a loved one, forever, is really sad and hurtful, thus i feel for his family, and friends.

another good news is, that i received a replied e-mail from Tony.its about how i shared my idea to improve the service and maybe bring the airline further. though its not some award winning idea, its good to get a reply for my feedback, shows that they really take feedback seriously.

while reading the star online today, another piece of good news is..

yes! , the world's most famous musical is coming to town during mid december. what an idea for the family's christmas plan. am very very sure that dad will agree.
its been a quiet and chilly everning, with the kinda cool whether, finger crossed, for everything to be fine. sigh...

Sunday, September 14, 2008

happy mid autumn festival

now 5 am, and presentation at 9. oh crap, din sleep yet. you see, staying up late and having something to do in the morning, is like playing blackjack, when u get 12-13, too lil to stop playing and can card can burst too. or can get black jack.

so here i am typing blog, since prae not teman-ing me up this time. poor thing slept at 9pm and get up at 3pm the next day.busy busy girl.

well its the mid auttum festival on sunday night. i dono y but this year there IS actually a celebration. even at home,even at a mini scale.went back to cyber around 10 pm, for group discussion for presentation. after a sleeepy... talk bout the coding, we open up our mooncake, well most of it is from Pei Se, and one from each me and JJ. Kean invite everyone to go play lantern. ahhh.... its been dono how many years since i played one. maybe even 10 years ++ ? we went to the putrajaya bridge overlooking the convention center. well, did things that arent suppose to do, but what ever happens remains there, plus there are some well, i can only describe it as "highlight of their life". probabaly b sleeping with the a big smile.

i don really know what the story behind the mid auttum festival, but it is celebrated kinda on a big scale in country like China and Vietnam. only last friday i heard about "sambal mooncake", i was thinking i might get punk'd or something, but that thing really exist. and then i went back home.. i got :

"durian mooncake" all the way from Bkk. i was thinking, " hermmm... the effect of globalisation" personally got nothing against the variety of flavor, but den again, i like my mooncake the old traditional way. lotus and only lotus, mayb with the yoke, but den again, don really like the yoke, (colestrol) .

nice mid autumn celebration, everyone had fun, and lots of laughter, not to forgetting...

happy b'day nat! the big 20

Friday, September 12, 2008

and the joke was on me..

infatuation or just a crush? am not sure, but i know that either one don't last that long. this morning was laughin at myself.cant belive i have an infatuation on her, of course she is good looking, smart, and also older n probably just meet her once a week. but come to think of it, there is impossible to have ANY feeling when i don't even know her! (now that sor phor cant tease me already) hahahahaha... no there shall not be another high school case of alison,but then again, all the boys have a thing for her anyways, again, older and good looking chic. mistake shall not be repeated =)

instead, was looking at this great place that Prae mail. the attraction of the place, imagine yourself on a motorbike (small island, so no license required) with the wind blowing around,and you will have your shades on with all the sun shining, and of course the blue sky, also the blue sea of the indian ocean and with some olivia's jazz on the i-pod, and every meal will be some great thai seafood

and great place to stay

with a great view

and price range from 21 usd to 167 usd per night!

phase 2! / lean on me

yes! we are now phase 2!

after done with certification test, rather it b the time now around 0228 or something just strike me during dinner with them.which i still wondering why some can be SO insensitive, when they order something with pork, and eat it when they know there are malays infront of them. what happen to respect?

i find that well, life is really really really really hard for some. guess luck is not on their side. unfortunate event happen somewhere along in their life, till the point that they need to well, support their family, and also siblings. giving up education, is already hard, though when you are rich, you wont be bother to study anyways.

personally, well i feel useless, when all i can do is, say it in my heart " oh poor fella" or "oh pity him/her". i mean, is that all i can do? sadly, yes. as realistic and materialistic as it sound, money cant solve their all their probs, but then again, it will solve MOST of their probs. no am not some kind of son of bill gates, i mean even if i am, just throwing money at people will just make them feel degrading, and they will feel even worst.

this is the letter from one of the kid that i sponsor.his dream is to be a painter.i kinda agree with prae that the drawing is a "darling". i belive that there is nothing else can be pure than the heart of a child. but still, during dinner tonight, i still feel like there is more to do.especially those that around me and that i know them personally some are acquaintance, some are hi bye frens, some are close frens, and some even are relative. sigh..m being serious here, and pls no comment like " give me money lah" you very well know who u r. though i can laugh sometimes, but guess, not in this matter.

i wish to help them all if i can, but for now.. this is some of the line from bill withers, hope we all can help others, let it b financially, morally or what so ever way tat we can, because someday, we all will somehow face some problem, as thats the rule of life,maybe our frens will help us again.

good night and God bless!

P/s: who in the world likes sambal mooncake? other than weird ppl =p

Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Please swallow your pride
If I have things you need to borrow
For no one can fill those of your needs
That you don't let show

Lean on me, when you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
'Til I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on

Thursday, September 11, 2008

aku rasa macam...

after looking at my spending so far this month, 3/4 gone! :( but...

now i feel like...

goin here

as i have...

shoe fetish now..


my perfume is running out

mmu banning the wearing of shorts...

as an excuse..

or i just have to wait for christmas?

i used to dream of...

walking on the street of Paris with someone special

but now would prefer...

a motorbike,a guide,the wind and an untouched island like kok samed

lots of doors are closed on me,

but i still want to open the door for others


i like to see, smiles on other's face!

because of i sayang her a LOT

considering whether should get her this for her b'day

love guru

phew! thats a close one. just got myself off the hook from being match make. all the sudden, my cousin's gf try to match make me. no matter how nice people can be, really, my interest currently is not there. not saying that am a turning into a gay, and have no what so ever interest in girls, but there are none that caught my eye yet for the time being. maybe the kind of girl that i seek for is, those well, could be crazy and at the same time be sensitive,not too overly sensitive. intelligence, and hard working woman with tons of drive. i dono,somehow, those smart girls and at the same time they could take care of their look, have been really pulling my attention. though looking back at the mirror, i do have to step up lots of level, if i ever want to be on par with them. they say, if u love someone, accept them for who they are, but for me, i know myself more than anyone else, thus, i know there are lots of area i need to work on, let it be on education, confidence, charisma, manners, attitude and also habbit to name a few.

in an ideal world, of course we all seek for an ideal case, but den again, all or almost most of the thing in this blog that i stated, turns out the oppposite. as for girls, they come when they come, for right now,there aint anyone yet.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

malaysiaku, viva la vida, new game

received a new project today, well actually two. this come hand in hand with what i really wanted to say for quite a while. am sure there lots of you might hear people condemming the country. if one is late for an appointenment, " ala... malaysia timing" or if anthing goes wrong at ALL, it will be "malaysia this malaysia that, or its malaysia what you expect" its a bit well not a bit, its a LOT fuck up. where people just whine and whine about their own country. as a citizen, don't we have the duty to make the wrong goes right again? well, tell me which single country is perfect? none, nada, zero, kosong!

as one of the writer for Malaysia, the next chapter, its sickening to hear, just goes on and on about their own country, guess these people never seen or experience hardship that other country had. we are lucky that we live in peace and harmony. look at georgia, where there is war with russia, look at Zimbabwe, with Mugabe being an ass, and doesn't want to resign, and their inflation rate is almost 200 %. why cant we all be just fucking gretful that we have food, and can walk around without worry of getting shot, or mortar targetting the shopping mall, instead a lil price increase, we start to complain and whine. the lack of unity, is sad to see and hear. when thing goes well, nobody gonna say " hey, this is a great country we live in" only when thing goes bad, people will start to critize. well its easy to critics, and find hole to poke in. but take a look around and to the bigger pics, its the world's economy that is suffering as well, not only ours.

and often we compare with the developed country, like US, or Australia. but do we take in consideration how long already they have gain their independent? why cant we be just proud of our acheivement so far in our 50 plus years of indepenedence?

teens today, well, its a bit fuck up on how they think.if i would giving a chance to create a case on this, don't think they could have lots of rebuttle. anyways, in the modern world of globalisation, we often see, how advance other countries are, and again, we whine and whine, really, sad, have we forgetten how our fore-father fight for this country? they sacrifice everything, regardless your are chinese, malay or indian, or any minorities just so that our generation won't suffer the same fate as them, for example like during the japanese occupancy. do we think about that? No. without that, well, our parents wont even have the chance to climb the coperate leader or to expend their business that would provide us the cash for us to spend on our so called nessasity for example like alcohol, clubs, handphones, and what ever. shame, shame on you wankers.


before start to work, oh well, i have to finish the group assignment on microcontroller first... guess it will take more time for me to get more juice for the work, the newly popular song by cold play, "viva la vida" have its own meaning:

is a very literal interpretational ballad of Napoleon in the moments before his death in exile. I believe it is on Napoleon because of the Heavy French Classical influence coursing through the song as well as the Album cover, being a French Revolutionary Painting. Who else in France had a shot at ruling the world?

The first three verses are where he recounts his former glory ("Old king is dead, long live the king") when he was going to rule the world, and how he held such power over his enemy. ("I used to rule the world/ Roll the dice") And then he tells of his downfall, when he sees that he cannot rule the world, and how he has become the lowest.("Now in the morning/ sweep the streets I used to own/ the walls were closed on me") Sweeping is a nobody job, so He is saying that he is now a nobody.

The chorus, which varies progressively, is a realization that he sees his own death. (Bells and Choirs would ring and sing, respectively, during a Funeral Procession, in some cases) "Mirror Sword and Shield" could mean that he is awaiting heaven, since the three are very Christian symbols. "Missionaries" is another Christian allusion, but appears to be useless, unless referring to that he is asking that a room in Heaven be prepared for him. "For Some Reason I can't explain, once you go..." appears to be a filler line, since it takes a different meaning later on. "That was when I ruled the world" is just a reprising line that sounds good. It restates that he no longer is glorious, and will die soon.

All the way from "Wicked and Wild wind" to "Oh who would ever want to be king" is a remembrance of his own rise to power and use of it. Also, because the French would Execute using the Guillotine, the "head on a silver plate" line also is an Allusion to Napoleonic France, as well as John the Baptist's death.

The second Chorus is the same, save for the line, "I know saint peter won't call my name". this is Napoleon saying he won't go to heaven since he was a tyrant. Saint Peter calling a name is symbolic of dying and going to Heaven.

There is an instrumental bridge where I suppose you could say Napoleon realizes death is inevitable, and accepts it, while the music becomes stronger.

The final Chorus has the change of "I know Saint peter won't call my name" to "I know Saint Peter WILL call my name" Saying that Napoleon accepts his death. You can imagine Napoleon Closing his eyes at the words "When I ruled the world"

The song ends with a choir singing the main chords in harmony, in a sad, thoughtful fadeout, suggesting Napoleon is dead.


itching for a new game? try this;

business stetergy game, which have a real time lesson.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

when one slap u on the left, give them u r right side

crazy. thats probably the word to describe this semester.it started off, during the holiday with the break up, and then followed by the holiday with the bestest of frens,a new house, a new place, and the failure of finals, the supplimentary test and a crazier twist to Manila for Austral,the clubs, and the time to get wasted, looking at pot the first time, and now the barring. come to think of it, i've most of the thing that should NOT be done in uni, like faling exams, taking supplimentary paper, and get barred. my dad said, " if you dare to do it ( bad things) then u gotta prepare yourself to face the music ". although i do wish the math lecturer do have some "heart" but in the end who could have blame them as they live on numbers and 1 + 1 is ALWAYS = 2 for them. even convincing the police from getting me arrested is not so hard ( no money involve)

to b disappointed, i could only point the finger to myself, to miss those classes. no excuses. the worst case scenario is i won't be able to grad in time with my frens. hopefuly the subject is offered next semester as been said by mr.yap. even if the need to extend, there are still come silver lining to it, as i could TRY to retake other subjects, to improve my grades- well, somehow you gotta make the best out of a bad situation huh? though i hope it wont burder my parents so much. so thats, thats for that subject. some might happen to have better luck than me, even if they don't attend to class as often, still their attendence is good. though luck.

looking back, i've remembered how i "fail" my cadet pilot test. to tought that come to my mind is, having everyone living as neighbours at SK, as that was the place initially that we all planned to stay. thinkin that what could have been and the fun that i would miss. well, the equation of flying don't carry much weight anymore, but to just blew the test.i do value my friendship, though i know i could be really blunt and frank sometimes, though some might think, i don really appreciate my friendship. it just not nice when ppl think they got me figure out. now probably the prospect of me wont b joining them for grads. "the road not taken" often be the epitome of my life in uni..

with all that aside all i could do now i focus on my finals. anyways, mom flew off to hanoi last week. i do hope she have a graet time. well, its time for her to have a well earn holiday. though it is not some high end luxury holiday, but then again, u can find something special at the least expected places.

the relationship with brother is a bit getting tighter. ever since i helped him out. well, he been a bit nice and we talked more than usual, and even discuss some of his personal matter. and also with dad, even though he is busy and always travel around, and with mom away, he do need some listening ear. and there is juicy to hear, i have to say. with sister, well, we always been tight, so m still considering to talk to my parents on her behalf.

brother decide to take me out for dinner on sunday night before sending me back to uni. wll my first trip to carls jr. its not bad, but not as great as yin would rate it. but den again, she always exereggate. met Anis there, one of my kickboxing instructor. was a bit akward as he was the one serving me. i know something he do is all good, earning an honest living, but den again, somewhere in my heart i feel bad about him serving me and clean the table.

got a sms from ashley last last week whether am free for saturday dinner. a suprising msg, though it will b the first time we officially met after its all over. minus the time i fetched amar from her hse. was akward to see her new bf is there. have nothing much to say bout that, though i know lots of others have lots to say. all i could say is, wishing her all the best, and take good care of herself.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

ah...... we human!

feelings. sometimes we might feel ultra hyper, and excited and so pump up, some might think you lost it, or sometime things just don't go out way, and we feel frustrated, and the "superb emo mode" is turned on. emotion can varies everytime, and lots can effect our mood. although some might just have no feeling at all, or they just good at keeping it too themself, or they just cried their heart out, till there is NOTHING that matters or could effect them anymore.

mayb this what make US human different from the rest, from animal or from object and robot. that we have feeling. sometime we cry, sometime we laugh, sometime we can be kind, and sometime we can b just plain insulting.

emotions control our feelings, which will determine our action. there are lots of way to express it, some might choose to curse, some might choose to paint, some might choose to vent to a dear fren, some might just keep it to them self.
what ever the reason is, why we all do all these? because we are HUMAN!

by prae