If You Don't do it, You Don't Really Believe it. Some people spend their whole time searching for what's right, but they can't seem to find any time to practice it. Your life story is not written with a pen, but with your actions. To do nothing is the way to be nothing.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
my mind too keep on thinking and worry all the time.worry bout taking care of others,make other comfortable?sometimes i think what bout me myself?keeping everyone happy what about myself? but that tot seems to go away in a while.
and money too. i mean, people my age would spend it on the latest gadget or just wasted on goin out and have fun. but instead am keeping mine for a car? a house? and i even thinking of unit trust or share market.and every monday will take peak at maritime, the pull out on the star. i mean why the world i would wanna think of business and the market. i mean, who would seat beside their mother on a saturday talking bout air asia shares?
who nags their older sister for wearing mini skirT?or even thinking bout tutoring their cousin who hardly talk to them? or who watches rod steward live in royal albert hall on the dvd and actually can connect to the song and enjoy it much more than wathing 50cent's video with all those girls that cant afford to buy any cloth to put on them on mtv.
is this a goodbye to my youth or am just too tense with the exam coming? i need the time back, where standing at a coffee shop in venice while eating a delightful venitian cake while taking down my expresso, now thats relaxing.
sometimes i do feel whats wrong with me when i cant click with the people , or don find what they do is fun or funny. but than again, this is me so am proud of me. and its for everyone to accept or reject me.
since coming back form the buffet, i do feel a bit weird. no am not sick or something.. i kinda feel fatherly. as weird as it sound, for the first time i actually look at cute babies and helping lil kids with their drinks.. must be the exam stress or just missing my sweetheart too much.
i been look thru my frens list on friendster and read some blogs too.. i word .... disgusted. mostly the girls. i tend to wonder whats wrong the girls today?! ok ok before any of female readers get pissed or something, let me explain first.
first of all.. i don mean ALL of the girls are like how am gonna describe, so lets open the heart and eye a bit k?
first of all the clothes that they wear today. its getting lesser and lesser. yes as a guy i admit i like seeing it, but after thinking bout it, its sort of disgusting.i mean some even look like a hooker with all the extra make up. what happen to sophicticated, or decent look? does sex really sell the attention in the world today? no wonder there lots of sick idiot out there, who rape lil kids, for example the nurin case. that kinda of sick mofoe should get his balls chop and let him eat it.. the ideal clothes its like those arabian ladies. i mean they cover ALL.. and if they wanna show some skin, they only do it at home, with their love one. isn't that an ideal way?
other point is the clubbin culture today.. sigh. i never been a really big fan of clubs. sure there lots of desperados go there and throw themself around, and get wasted. but isn't that just plain cheap? c'mon ladies and gent, do spend the money on better stuff, like getting own car or something. plus with all the smoke and alcohol, its NOT healthy too. plus u its so very loud the music blast, u can even have a normal convo with u r frens or anyone without raising your voice.so anywise person who wanna argue with me that clubbin is GOOD, come.
sad to say another point is no offense, but some girls love to throw themself at guys. why? i still and will never ever get it. i mean seating on their lap and with all the hug and cuddling.. its fine if its your husband or bf, but what if u just frens or strangers? why must this happen? it just will give the guys an upper hand, taking advantage and all that.
i don find that girls that throw themself around,drinkin,smokin, go to club have any class at all. yes it might sound harsh, but try to think about it. yes i MIGHT get some angry comment after this post,but i seriously think its good for ANY girls to keep away from all this.
i think a good role model is mandy moore in the walk to remember. i mean, being close to God,intelligent, and don't get involve in social sickness and smart too and not to mention dress up decently too. i might sound old fashion but i think its for the better
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
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Monday, September 24, 2007
but then as we all know, or i personally know, doin the and feeling the actual thing is way different then setting it out, on paper.i guess my biggest weakness is my strongest strength too. i mean i know almost all my weakness in myself as i always ponder what had happen in my life, but for others maybe, they don't know whats their weakness are, thus their ego can be ultra big. but den again, even if i know whats MY weaknesses are, thing is, i keep on repeating it. sometimes i wonder why? but i guess, its inside of my heart,no matter how much my mind try to stop it, or vice versa. for example, when i know i HAVE to study, but a part of me feel like i need to go out, why? because it makes me happy to have fun, don everyone feel happy to have fun? stuff like that, that makes the fall of me. even though the road is still long of me to find the real me, but i feel i have to find the real me, because like anybody, i wanna make it big and be succussful in life too... and not to mention to be happy at the same time. i guess its a balancing act that am struggling to do right now.
it takes a HUGE ammout of self disiplin to get control of oneself.its like the malaysian badminton player, once won a big tournament and they gone to a slump for years.its the tough mentalilty of oneself, and its not build overnight as it takes years and years to build.
tough there are lots more that i wanna write, right now i just cant find a way how to put it..
so i spend the whole day buming. so i am behind schedual with the chapter that i need to cover.but tonight i discover that with a bit of composure, a chapter can b done in not very long time.
out of boredem i sms 2 of my kelantanese fren. tho its VERY very long since i contacted them, 1 is julian cheong,where i met at Brat's camp, his mother is a kelantanese, think he is really active in brats now.. another 1 is Jazman, the guy i with a very deep voice that i met at the cadet pilot test. he stayed in kelantan, and fortunately for him, he is doin pilot trainning now in kota baru kelantan.being a kelantanese, we would never forget another kelantanese,Jaz replied the msg and we talked like we know each other for ages..
its 2 am over here..... shall i call?
Sunday, September 23, 2007
anyhow, after filling my fat belly with FOOD, i started to look and think back bout all that great food i had.well, that wat make this country great isn't it? i mean the mixture,the blend and also the people. even though the buffet is specially caterded for muslim to break their fast,i could see other races too, its nice to see everyone eating peaceful and different races and culture are able to seat inside a place, to enjoy the feat. i love malaysia.
left the hotel for home. just in time for the newcastle versus west ham match. though am waiting for the man u versus chelsea match. kind bum a lil, while talking to my sister,suddenly uncle OOI called. he wanted to come over to watch football too. poor man, being dump in KL after he failed as MD at Bangladesh.though he still go back to Penang often. so i was expecting him to tell his traveling adventure, but when he arrived, all eyes was on the TV, as lots of conflict in the match, which ended 2-0 to man u.
after the match i decided to hits the book. circuit theory as finals coming up.chatted with my mom on the phone for a bit. tought i would wait for her b4 returning to cyberjaya, instead she still unsure when she will be back to KL as grandma was still in the hospital.
as for my job hunting, my sister's fren apparently working for HSBC at cyberjaya. though his working hour is weird as he have to follow UK timing. so he work from 3pm-12am. did asked him bout any part time.apparenty there are only permanent job, but its from 8pm till 5 am at the call center. even the money is GOOD, but i guess, am no superman as i still have my studies... so i guess back to the drawing board
i wish the sms will go thru.. i wan my jersey =)
Saturday, September 22, 2007
while waiting, i will keep on finding jobs so i could visit u 1 day over there.tho i wont promist u tat i would raise enough to go over. but u know am trying right? other than that,i will try to occupy my time with badminton, IF i get the card for the club house.so old man, try get ready mayb?
other than that i will b more focusing on my studies i guess,though i might not seat for the pilot next yaer, or maybe i will. but i guess we never know huh?mayb i will try and get my degree first before start to think of flying. other than that,maybe i will try and help my cousins IF my studies stablize. since my sister will graduate sooon, mayb i will ask my mom for a raise so i can really help those kids with AIDS, u know that right? the child sponser thing.
for raya,mayb i will meet up with rizal, he will b back on the 10th,same day as my final paper, and did tell amar bout the outing too, though he insisted to call that 2, but i guess its gonna be like that night. oh well, ignore that 2, mayb i gonna take the time to catch up with amar and rizal, and also raja they all. a place i could be myself where "insults" are just laughter,other than with u, then i guess maybe with them.
i love u sweetheart..
quote of the day "uncle chan and ethan gonna watch the match tonight at old trafford"
dad:so u sad?
me: err....(oh hell yea)
dad: of coz right? don worry bout it so much, just take it as a challenge for u to study harder, mayb u will end up in USA.
suyin:err... his gf went to UK not US
dad: nvm lah.. she can follow him if she want.
later on the night
suyin: i have rm X, if i save for X months i might go too.
me: i need get a job, i wanna stay longer
suyin: wait i ask my fren when he get back from his holiday
dad: what u all counting?
suyin: is rm X enough for a day for meals over there when u go over there that day pa?
dad: yes that will b enough. you all start saving from now on.. if still not enough i will chip in a lil
me:i dono am still full, i ate pizza for breakfast
dad: ok, do u wanna me to get someone to get the food for u? because i have lots of work today.and will b back late
me: its ok. am still full anyways, and suyin too.
dad: ok den, bye
an hour later...
suyin:what to eat for lunch
me: i dono, dad say he is busy, plus u said u r full just now
suyin: now am hungry! go buy FOOD!
me: no, order Mc d la...
suyin: dowan, not fast food again, my face having pimple
me: up to u lah.. i dowan to eat, am still full
suyin: am frying rice, do you wan?
me:no am full
after frying rice.....
suyin: erm........... (trying to show off with her rice, in an attempt to make me hungry)
*phone received msg*
suyin: u r gf from UK? ( start countin the time zone)
me: here, this is for u
msg said : "have u r own lunch, i will b going for a meeting with a client"
half an hour later.....
dad: julian go down in 5 minutes... i sent someone over to bring food.
me: err.... is he on the way? he food bought d?
me: hey, dad bought lunch.
suyin: what the hell?!! i just eaten. do u wan me grow fat?!!
after taking food...
me: hey guess wat.. its u r fav food.
suyin: oh NO... i will b fat
me:and i will b eating.
suyin:but....( in the end the pig ate her rice too)
the moral of the story is : you are bound to get free food at home.no matter how busy ur parents are. for sure there will b food on the table.. so much reason to go home every chance i have
Friday, September 21, 2007
but then, lots of things unfold while is is gone.. like todAy.. my computer assignment group have been called up to see our lecturer, Ms Florence. apparently our programming code are simliar with the one on a few internet forum and also similar to the other group as well.. but in actual fact, none of our group copy from the web or other group. so all of us rushed to cyberjaya this morning to prove our innocent. the verdict will b on monday.sigh...
today too my mom suppose to fly back after she visited my grandma.. come back with lots and lots and lots of food.. and not forgotten my badminton shoes.. i hope she din forget that. but SADLY.. she need to cancel her flight as my grandma was admitted to the hospital. no news now from the hospital. once i heard the news, i always fear for the worst, since my grandma is NOT getting any younger by the day.. if ANY bad stuff happens.. mayb i would feel bad for life. because mayb i can b by her side if i went back on monday. but then again, i to will regeret if i din see ashley off on wednesday.
the 1 thing that caught my eyes during this past ashley-less day is that night when i chatted with my sister on MSN.. its about her bf. its NOTHING bad bout her having bf at her age but the thing is he is a SINGH. a punjabi. no offence to indian or any sub races like punjabi.. but i always get this impression that the indian guy love to get drunk and hit thier wife. no this is not any make up story that i made to deny or not to accept him, but there are lots of story u can hear from ppl around and there also reports in the newspaper and also news on tv. so its a proven thing.. yes mayb not ALL of them are bad.. but thats the impression they gave mayb because one or two rotten apple. mayb am being over protective over my older sister, but hey.. wont any brother would do the same?adding the fact that the older brother being useles and being just a pest with distubing and making matter worst.YES at 1 point i was against it too. but after talking to her and listening how he make her happy, make me reconsider my tought. am not saying that i would accept him, but its still pending. mayb some would say i don stand on my belief and being a hypocrite if i would accpet him. but no matter what happen she is still my sister. mayb i don show lots of love but she still a family. and been brought up and taught by parents to help family. so maybe 1 day, i will loosen the screw and maybe perhaps convince my parents to accept him. but he still need to go thru various test first.as sister always have a soft spot in a brother's heart, maybei will be a "hypocrite" as label by some. but if ANY would label me that i just feel sorry for them because they probably don hav any love in their family. maybe wai luen was right.. "just accept it" that what he says..
on the other side, i always feel pity for those who don really do well in school last time, those rempit and all. once i heard from one of them, they are working in 7 11 store. its a pity really. but i got this strong feeling that maybe its in the family. they don't have the attention they seek i assume from their parents. and they rebel by doin crazy stuff like skipping school, smoking and do drugs. maybe their parents are busy finding hard earn cash just enough to provide for the family as most of them are from a not a well off family. maybe am just a busybody, i mean my grades at mmu is not somthing that could b proud of, but than again, i got this tendecy of being a busybody i assume. i mean, i have this cousin who gonna face pmr next year i think. from what i heard she have a really low self confidence because of the lack of attention. i mean grades like 65-70 are really is good enough at that age. before am taking all my small cousin to a trip to genting in mid december, my mom suggested to my uncle to sent her here. my busy body-ness perhaps wanting me to volunteer to be her tutor or something. am saying busy body because, i cant even score well in my studies now but i wan to help others to study..this is bad because i have to be selfish sometimes at least to cover my own backyard before medling into others business.
but some i just feel like they deserve it..get it? i know 1 guy who parents finish about 20k just for 1 semester at a private collage, but he refuse to study. 1 semester cost so much because he repeat twice and still fail. for me there are 2 type of ppl. maybe you are not gifted intelligent-ly but as long as u r hardworking, you are bound to earn a living, and there are some even a 5 figure salary a month! but if u are lazy.. well, you are gone.yesterday too i was at the tasik selatan KTM station buyin ticket, as one of the machine is out of order, 1 man said "panggil encik tu, asyik berborak saja dgn staft lain" that lazy station master was apparently a father of a person i know. yes i could have make a fuss and the station master would get an ear full, or mayb got suspended. but than again, he is a fahter of a person i know. i was thinking,in a dillema, if i tell bout the station master, he will be in trouble and it wont be pretty trust me. a middle aged man get scolding but if i don tell, how bout all the consumer and plus its" visit malaysia year" its even written in the train ticket.
i choose to keep my silence. maybe am being a busybody..thinking so much...thus.. "its not easy to be me..."- five for fighting
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
its been a charming 1 year.. will YOU remember what u did at this date 1 year ago? sometimes its good to ponder and look at all the great memories and pic YOU have. make you appreciate ALL that you have and wat you have had..
Monday, September 10, 2007
last sunday was one of those highlighted day ever.. it was BEAUTIFUL.. everything went smoothly.. it all started when i wanted to build lots and lots of fond memories with the one and only ashley before she leave to UK. so i gather all my guts and courage and ask her dad's permission. and to my suprise after an hour or so of heart stopping convo with mr.chin himself, he finally agreed. so amen to that.
i was worried that i cant find the way to the eye of malaysia.and to the dinner place. the reason i choose the eye of malaysia is.. its a nice place to go. i mean heck, what better way of speding time with great view of our own metropolitan. right at our very own backyard.tho sadly we hav to share our gondola with other ppl.. but its all good.. the lil baby inside was our entertainment. i do hope she would think of me when she sees the eye of london.
anyways.. since its been awhile since i been to istana budaya.. was a bit nervous with the heavy traffic, with mr. chin giving limits till9 pm. so i don wanna get lost and find the way, because it will b just a waste of time then. i went on9 and drew up the map.
after the eye, we went to klpac. lots of question mark arise when i say klpac. i went everyone go there to watch plays. and on that day, apprrently, there are no plays playing. thus it was a bit quiet. well, i discover this jap restaurant by the lake when i 1st been there. it was at night, and before the play started, me and my fren dharmik decide to take a tour of the place, hence we found the place,than i told myself "this would b and ideal place to bring someone special". and taking in calculation that ashley love her jap good, thus it equal to a big smile on her face which made my day.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
dad: i would love to sent you to america. uni of ohio or michigan
me: (holy crap... this convo AGAIN?)
mom: cant you like do a twinning for your final year or something?
me: no.. not in MMU
me: (because it suck) i got no idea.
sister: you should go since after 3 months, your mother only need support you
mom: so this year you are Xyears old.. so by that time you will b... XX years old. ok la.. still young
me: (i wan get married by then lah) i think i should focus on passing this sem first
dad: the uncle says, you only need rm X a year to survive there. than you can follow him to do some research for NASA or semething
me: ( i wan to fly a plane!!!!!!!) yea yea...
sister: den i could visit you so you can bring me shopping.
later in the evening..
sister: mom, look at your son, go bukit tinggi so far so to eat roti tissue
me: (after explaining my fren misplace keys and all..)
mom: i think he enjoy himself over there. go here and there. and if he go US, he will probably travel all over US.
the moral of the story: try look at ur child's grade 1st before putting high hopes... or in my case, ANY hope.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Sunday, September 2, 2007
a long weekends as friday is an off day due to merdeka, tho in julian's world. friday is always an off day. hehehehe.. anyways.. been to lots places than noramally do go on weekends. well, to start things off, went to kajang with kean and pei se. stopped at kajang ktm komuter station with kean as kean is goin back to Perlis.tho its a very very LONG way for him as his bus is 30minutes past midnight. kajang hav change A LOT! even the route to the town have now changed, and there are tolls and all.. its been a while since i come though, since the house have been rented out for years. as i arrived bangsar lrt, to my suprise there are no taxi available. and no taxi wanted to stop, even to mat saleh. in the end i got fed up of waiting and walk to ashley's house. hang in the garden as her dad is resting due to his injury till my sis come and pick me up with my cousin, who i bull that i will b back LATE! later that night, went to pick my cousin's parent at the Gombak toll. Kl city was really packed, and around 11++ the road at Jalan Kuching come to a stand still as there are Merdeka celebration. everyone practically left their car and go for a walk around. it was chilly tho. very cold and lots and lots of Mat rempit carrying jalur gemilang. the jam was not cleared till 2am. too bad the next morning they all need to get up early for my cousin's paino graduation.