Jet plane, where art thou?

So I decide to blog after a long hiatus. The blog seems quite quiet for the past few months, mine and also the rest of the gang. Probably they are too caught up with work. Would like to blog on my recent trip to Saigon, was quite an eye opener. But I guess that is for another sunshiny day.

Work today was bad. It's been like that ever since am back from my vacation. I did a few thinking especially during the dinner on the cruise ship when everyone was away dancing. But today, it really hit me. I was driving on the NPE and off to Sunway heading towards Kesas Highway on the way home. As I passing through the tunnel, with the giant Egyptian statue of Sunway Piramid welcoming me, I look to the sky as it was a sunny day. A firefly ATR was making a left turn after taking off from Subang, as I move along further, I saw an unusual flight, I think it is she, the A380. I know MAS is receiving it somewhere this time. And it was confirm when I go on the net.

Then it strike me, the mix of emotion of "WTF am I doing?" All the place I go ever seen I leave high school, planes are following me like a shadow. With the cadet plane in Melaka, where I admire it, from my 11th floor Ixora apartment and also from E-1-B where plane flew by day and night off , even when the walk to cyberpark, there is flight, flying onto the sunset. Are these sign? or God just teasing me of a sign " If you want it, come and get it! " or just "You can look at it, but can never have it".

Whatever the sign is, it does bring a dark cloud to my day. I don't think what I am doing now is any close to that target, that destination.It is just a rude reality check, and wake up call. I am not sure what will I do, if I don't get this chance. However I always would like to have an experience abroad. For those who know me, probably New York and London would be my choice. But how to reach to that goal?

It this the right way? sometimes don't you just wonder? I do, trained as an engineer, the best way always to know what is happening and what is it at the end of the tunnel. However I am still not certain if I am doing. Those who have walked through the tunnel, says just walk and don't think. But after almost a year of walking, and a below average KPI mark, regardless whatever review or praises, it makes me wonder if I am in the right way. After all, whatever matters is on the paper.