shhh....

"hey mate, am up for it now. u need a partner in crime in melbourne. i know i ffk-ed u for the casino in gentings, but hey, strip clubs in XXX cinema? or maybe some call girls? we could smoke our cigars, or mayb some pot, coz am DAMN curious what it feels like or call some girls over to ur apartment and have a drunken party and get wasted on shots espcially those naive first year,who thinks the its just juice"










well, i could have told my fren that and grab the flight tickets on my next holiday and do all that and go crazy.BUT a voice once told me " i don indulge in such immoral activities".come forward if anyone that have witnessed me go crazy or get angry.anyone?as human, its always easy to play the blame game and blame others, but den, what about ourself?











hey, why u always don like to join to group wan, people go redang u din join, pd u din join, HK u din join.




if given the chance, who wont like to go for a holiday rite?why i din go? coz i for once know what is priority.there area so many things i could do, but then, i know whats my priority is, and i keep my focus on that.i cant control what others do, but i can control myself.









hey lets go clubbing. i'll sneak out of my house and meet up with u at bangsar, since our dad know each other i think i wont b in trouble.







i turn that down.what is peer pressure? when u have your own belive. if my fren says its nice, lots of hot chic, alcohol is great- which is so overrated, does that matter? must i do what my fren do too? even if my frens would have been to a strip club, must i go too? maybe those who give in to peer pressure have such a soft grip on their principal, although they might think they are stubborn and wont easily give in.

the gag order

when jose was sacked by chelsea, chelsea put a clause, a gag order. means jose cant speak about the reason he got sack or else he will be in trouble.

maybei talked too much everywhere i go, and thus just put me in trouble.people only like to hear what they fancy. and not to deny it, i do too.. but i guess i was dumb, to run my mouth and just say what i feel. because after so many years of nerd mode, actually make me numb. i don feel anything at all.all those sweet time at school i only appreciate it when i was at melaka.happy i wont show an expression, sad i wont show an expression too.maybe thats how people would like me.mayb i shouldn't haave tot of joining "voices" next sem, what more to compete with "voices" melaka and being able to represent MMu to overseas for a mini UN conference like Jeng EN did,i probably would pick up a fight with all those people there too with my mouth.

but on that evening of 10th last year, i feel something that i never feel before. i have a big smile when i am happy, i feel down when something bad happens. plus for insurance, i got my infinite chances.wonder where all that have gone to? forgetten perhaps?

nerd mode : on

nerd mode is a mode that how i shut everything and just study, its hard to do now. but it all start wen that horrible day in form 2 happens. i need to escape from all that so badly. nerd mode maybe a way to escape or to hide myself from all those things. like a 4 concrete wall around me, and i cant express what i feel or say wat i would like.but den again, am a very strong beliver on what i do, although others might start not beliving in it, but for me i still belive in it.

where is the light?

my soliraty confinement, goodbye readers