december is a wonderful month, for me personally.december is the month where we rejoice the birth of our saviour, for christian, and all mark world's aids day. a symbol that we acknowledge aids IS a major issue among us, the living people of planet earth.
other than that, december is also the month where most of us reflect, and ponder, "hey.. is it a good year for me? do i achieve what i set from the beginning of the year?" and for some, its time for everyone to gather again, and be thankful for our blessings.
turning 20 in a few days, well, i guess thats not quite a big hint, i guess you will receive e-mails from those birthday reminders that mine is coming up.the whislist goes on and on.. but on a serious note, well, they say its not good to tell others what u wish for, but then again, whatever i said here will turn out the opposite anyways.. so,
turning 20, i my whislist is to keep on growing, to keep on improving.in all the ways, especially maturity level. as we all grow older, the resposibility grows too, and at the same time, we are expose to more things. keeping an open mind will help a lot. i know in the past that well, i have a lot of restriction on things. for example i have this prejudice against clubs. but now, i've learnt to accept it as a way for some to relax and let their hair down. but then again, keeping my feet on the ground, exessive clubbing do have its negative side.mayb i would prefer to seat at a jazz bar, having some good finger food and some great company as a form of relaxing but then again, shaking my head to the killer's- mr brightside also have its advantage. the curiousity level of myself should increse, but i guess that takes time, maybe baby step like eating some veg that i won't touch before untill the ultimate test which is eating durian.
i have to say, my biggest critics is also my biggest compliment. i was once been describe by a middle age woman as a person who have a "chip on his shoulder" i was confuse on what that mean, it means, that someone who love to find fault. yes, critics is always hard to swallow, and taking the step of admitting that yes i do sometimes have issues with the people that well, i don like. for what ever reason. the only thing i could do is, to smile and accept those critics that was thrown as turn it into the coal that burn my desire to improve myself. heck, what is perefection? is anyone perfect at all?
there are also question asked on why i have a double standard, and treat those nicer looking ones, better.i guess, being human, or a human nature to note that we all want the best. i guess i was wrong to treat the less attractive one unequally or not as good, as they are the one who will b beside me when am down.those are the people who will bring my feet back on the ground and will wack my head if it grows too big. and for those nice looking one, well there are around u when u are up and no where to be seen when u are down. altho it does apply on case to case basis, am here to admit that i am wrong to treat people in generally with a double standard.
keeping grudge is also something that i gotta take care. sometimes i understand after a while, why people do what they do, and act how they act. mayb for some its out of desperation, mayb for some they think of their own self interest and neglect / sacrifice others feeling.there are some people that i would like to prove a point, there are some that i would like disfigure, but that all the tought when i was pissed. i mean when u are angry, don u feel like hitting that person's face?
but thinking rationally, its better to let it go, and to take it to the next level wish them well. i haven't reach that level of wishing them well, sincerly YET, or even let go of all the things i think they did wrong. although there is always 2 side of a story.
december 2008 well, its certainly a busy month for me, with exams, assignment etc, but i hope, i could spend some time with everyone. thousand apologies if i cant.God bless!
If You Don't do it, You Don't Really Believe it. Some people spend their whole time searching for what's right, but they can't seem to find any time to practice it. Your life story is not written with a pen, but with your actions. To do nothing is the way to be nothing.
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