Reunited and it feels so good

Past month - January has been quite fruitful in term of relationship. In my past post in few months or years back, I remember venting about a friend, who was literally my first friend here in KL. And how he keep on avoiding and FFK ( did not turn out for appointments) with us. At the moment I along with all our friends was really frustrated with him, as it is always been the 5 of us throughout high school. Macam lah boy band only.

Moving on 2012, I spend my new year eve this time welcoming in a more social manner, as compared to how I welcome 2011 with 2 boxes and pizza and with my Final Year Project on my computer. I went to Bukit Tinggi/Janda Baik with 2 of the boys and 2 more of our girl friends. From there we move foward and forgetting about our anger towards this friend and about him in general, and promise to commit to play badminton, one of our favourite past time every friday.

Then come the time for one of us to have his big day, wedding day. During the yamcha session after badminton, I suggest to my friend to invite him to the wedding. After all, it would be the last chance, and last hope or last throw of the dice to save the friendship. So he did. However the message did not get him until Out of the blue, the friend texted me to wish me Happy Chinese New Year. I feel it is a sign, thus I intervene again asking if he would come to the wedding, he did not notice the invitation until my text. Long story short, against all odd, even on the day itself, we have our doubts on him coming, as he always promise to turn up but did not. But this time he pull through.

Another event is more a family story. As I have this cousin which is much older than me. When he was young, he stayed with my family until he was standard, as his parents was going through hard time, thus my mom took him in. He was brought up along with me and my siblings. However, he grew up closely with my brother as their age is almost the same,and I was too young then.

My parents especially my father did have quite a bond with him. Their bond goes was back. And as hard headed, and how mat rempit he was during his secondary school days, and rebel days during his collage years, I know he listen to my parents and goes to them when he need advice or help. Even though they argue, he will still listen, no matter how unhappy he looks. Taking from him, who is also short tempered when ever anyone else try to lecture him, but my parents got a way with him.

Unfortunately something happen 2 years ago, between my cousin and my father. I personally feel it is a small thing. However, the ego of two grown man got the better of them.the cold war goes on for 2 year until this Chinese New Year. Till he wanted to go to his wife to be house for engagement. That morning, I confronted my mom and explain to her how I wish to intervene like how I did for my friend case earlier. She gave me an earful because she told me as if she did not try. But 30 minutes later she told my cousin to go up and invite my dad personally. And the rest like they say it, its history. Even this long weekend, my cousin and his wife is at my house almost everyday.

Although these relationships does not involve me directly, sometimes, I feel it is not always have to be about ourself, taking a step back from the spotlight, looking at others being happy, make me glad too. In addition to witnessing my good friend taking a step in marriage, and my brother and his girlfriend, seems to be having a smooth sailing one make me happy for them. Got me thinking, maybe it is time to look into my own matter, where is my direction will heading to. Rather it is personal or career.

Live like you were dying

That is the title of the song sang by Tim Mcgraw and the American Idol winner Scotty. It literally means living life to the max, as if everything gonna end. I feel I did it for the early 7 months of 2011 until uni life ends in June....

I went : 

Airplane flying 

Marathon running

60 minutes with a burger call "Goliath"

and love deeper

Spoke sweeter

and give forgiveness that I've been denying

And I hope someday you get the chance, to live like you were dying!

Happy new year, 2012. Says a lot from facebook or smses. Its the new year again, the Mayan's says it will be the end of the world, on 20th December. I still remember the way I've ushered 2011, where was on my way back to Cyberjaya from my Final Year Project in Melaka, got 2 regular pizza and continue work on it. E-1-B the house that I've rented for the past 4 years, are empty as the rest went to celebrate. For that 7 months, I've really work for my thesis. Although the outcome is not what I've expected, a B+, I feel it is a great injustice even after appealing. But like all the exams I feel that I've given my all, thus there are no regrets.

2011 have been a good year. but there are also a significant loss I feel. As only when I beginning to enjoy my time in university, time is up.And time to say goodbye. My wish is to have a meal each with those few group of friend of mine. Probably at Hb with the hostel friends, or SK hawker with the other gang, or just random crazy meal with the housemates, even the nasi lemak from indon with the roommate.

But life is never what you wish for. Now everyone on different path of life. How many will still keep in touch it will tell in few years. I always evaluate it, when 2 friends meet again after a long period, how "mesra" their relationship is, is it the same of they are out of topic to chat.

One of the most important thing I've learn for the past 4 years is 'Togetherness'. Friendship, Courtship, Family. Thank you all for making my 4 years special, hope we all can be together again. One day.

As for 2012, there is only one thing for certain, that I've know of, financial difficulty.

Back to December

Today the first of December,also my first attemp to update my blog via my mobile.it's been a few weeks since I've downloaded this apps.

So the big day is approaching,for me to turn to the big 23.the number held great significant especially in the sporting world,made famous by an NBA legend-Michael Jordan,and then by David Joseph Beckham.

There been a buzz at home asking for what I would like to have for my birthday.To be honest I don't really have the desire to have anything that is wrapped in a box and those fancy wrapping paper and ribbon.

If a genie really exist and grant me 3 wishes,I would say in my ideal world,I would be an airline pilot that is based in Penang island,having a place around Straits Quay area or Miami bay,having my gf nearby in her dream job at intel,with my mom and sister having a partnership running their food business and dad and bro too have their partnership.

But in reality,pilot won't b based in Penang,and after hard selling,mom won't send me to flying school even when if she could afford.but for the rest,it seems more realistic,where the gf is more likely to get a job in intel,and my siblings and parents are likely to run business.thus back to square one,I hope to find hapineess in my 23rd year.hapiness can not b in monetery form,although having a little bit extra dough is not a bad thing.

Hapiness can be in a form of being able to do what ever u want to do and when.I promise myself not to miss the Penang jazz festival this year.it's always either this or the monsoon cup that I wanted to watch.however I have to give it a miss due to exams,or assignments as this time is normally a short semester.regardless of that,it's been a tradition for me personally to go on a week 'break' in a run up to my bid day.I would then pamper myself.

But in the working world is a totally different ball game,although having extra financial muscle compared to working,working commitment unable me to go and have a good time on my big day.thus till next year I have to say,Penang jazz festival,hard rock cafe and all my lovely friends that I've promise to go down.hope you all will still remember me this time next year.

Hi

I sat there with him 4 years ago, in the park enjoying our drinks and bagel. It was a small park, where local kids playing and kicking football on a quiet and yet wind late spring weather. We had a chat, and we have a common dream on moving here one day. While mom dad and sister shops for shoes, we both enjoy a similar liking of the place. Fast forward from Florence to KL today, he is now at least half the way there and I am still way far away from moving to Europe.

I went to the musical a few weeks ago, presented by The Star. It's called In Perfect Harmony.The musical represent how music have influence our life in Malaysia from the great P.Ramlee to Justin Bieber, and how time have transcendent and evolve the music we listen. One of the song that struck me was our local chinese artise, Guang Liang's Tong Hua or Fairytale. It did brought me back when some of my female friends from school sang it like a choir. Most of them are english educated and can hardly speak a word of chinese. 

Looking back then is when I had the longest holiday after my SPM. Time were good until all the complication occurs or in other words the girl trouble starts. Then come MMU, where at the beginning I was very reluctant to go let it be the engineer course or be it the place, Melaka. Growing up in the Beverly Hills of Malaysia, did have it perks and bad side. And of course you come to a smaller town with a big ass ego and rep. The perks are when you mention you stay in Bangsar, the girls will want to be near you, but the bad part is some were taken a back step, rather feeling inferior or just hate the cockyness. And another bad side of it, although I grew up there, I am not the Bangsar people that people have the impression of, as I am not from the wealthy family.

After all my resistance I start MMU unwillingly, however I did make a few good friends at my orientation. One of the first few friend I've made, is this guy from Perlis. Coincidentally he also stays at the same condominium as I am, to my surprise I met him at class. So I think to myself, not so bad lah, as he seems like a decent guy, and not like those people your parents warn about before stepping in uni to avoid. However, he don't seem like want to hang out after class. When I asked him for dinner, go to town, or sports, he will either decline or 'see lah'- which is a No. I thought I did something that offended him or disturbing him with many questions.But then again, he did join occasionally. One year later we are housemate in Cyberjaya. 

To be honest I am not the best engineer around, after 5 years of studying, I can say I learn very minimal. or at least I remember very minimal things now. Which is sometimes a bit added pressure at work where expectation is there as I am an 'engineer'. Am sure my boss would be sweating if he reads this.

However, it is not that I play around at university, I did put in a lot of effort in my studies and exams but my results did not reflect it at all. What do you do when you try your level best and yet the result indicate as if you did not study, it did not do any justice at all. However I learn A LOT more outside the class, things like something even Harvard class room did not teach you, it is a life lesson that no book can teach. It is life lesson such as friendship, and going through hard time- endurance and perseverance. 

Graduation came along, and lots of congratulation messages comes. One of it says " Congrats Asst.Editor" it is from one of my group member during the Brats camp, one of them are now even working for The Star, and recently promoted from the Daily Chili to Star Metro. As I walked out of the musical, I texted one of them, the only one that I am currently keeping in touch. Coincidentally as well, she is just graduated and searching for job and considering a career in journalism, even though studied marine biology. 

Passing by a blog the other day, got the core of the post, which is why people afraid to chance what they want. People work in something that their heart not in it, and then they complain and they can't perform, and the cycle continues. Why we are afraid? Probably because it is out of the norm. For example one of my classmate from engineering school now is an air steward. He goes a great length to go the normal route of an engineering student - to go in manufacturing line. Few have such courage, and I feel that I am one of them who don't have the courage. Why? because if we go against the norm, if we fall, everyone will point finger at you and say 'told you so!' 

I love writing, its a way to express myself. I love helping out and trying to make a change. I love wealth, as materialistic as it sound, money speaks. I love travelling, seeing different people,culture and places. Thus the question is why did I not follow the journalist path? why did I not join World Vision? It's like Dr.Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, sometimes you are the angle, and sometimes you are the devil, but at the center of it, is the coward and lack of courage to go against the norm. 

  

Is this goodbye?

We begin the journey together, and we ended it together. There are lots of time that I feel that I won't be able to make it, especially when failures come in the way. And some that I share with, will know that I will tell them Sorry I won't be able to graduate with them.

As multiple failures comes in this past 5 years, some that are known and some that I still kept away, as I did not want to make my family worry. I am thankful to those that stood by me during the hard time. Offering me their help and support and even till today. Let it be some tough love, that tell me off, or console me when am down. Thank you very much. They know who they are.

As "Permata Dunia" first played during orientation, it was also fitting the last song we sang during the convocation. The scene of friends holding each other, on the shoulder singing the song away, some holding back their tears, its a very powerful atmosphere filled with emotion. And it is understandable as everyone spend 5 years together. Of course there is always a bond there.

For me personally, its a bitter-sweet time, and at the end of the day, I know I will miss this place and all the colourful characters that is the pallets to my university portrait.  As much as I always finding a way to get out or switch my university path, this place have taught me a lot. Maybe not in an engineering way, as I've forgotten lots of what I've studied, but I've learn a lot more than what the text book could ever offer. The value of friendship, and being away from home makes me appreciate home more. Of course I would have pay more attention to my studies if I could redo this all again. But looking foward, this weekend is probably the last time ever there will be this massive gathering.

I won't be able to know when will I will have a meal, or just chit chat with some of them, especially those who chose their path out of KL or those that you did not take the time to know them well, and during convo, your conversation with them is more than the period in this 5 years.

The promise and the dream of my parents have been fulfilled, as they wanted all their children to get a university degree. As my journey officially ended I will miss.... ( in no particular order)

1. E-1-B
2. The makan
3. late night supper
4. random movie 
5. the flexibility of going out anytime
6. skipping class especially when its raining at 8am
7. early morning champion league football
8. badminton, smashing people
9. the nano permanent trio for assignment and exams
10. weird by my FYP
11. pillow talk
12. gossips/ scandals
13. Indon food delivery
14. Puchong Yong Tofu
15. S.K hawker
16. Last minute cramp for exams in library
17. Last minute assignment dateline, where the next morning we are all like zombie but still energetic to go and eat wantan mee or dengkil chicken rice
18. FCM ah Neh, that scold people who cuts queue when taking roti canai
19. Lesser worries compare to working life
20. Cyber tracker
21. And the list continues.....

Is this real

The reality setting in, two month of officially working. I am now on the threshold of adulthood. Although there are still a lot to learn in the office, financially, its a bit far from settle.

My boss asked me and a few other in one of our discussion, " Do you think you are at the level where you could afford a coffee from Starbucks?" To be honest, No I don think I am at that level yet. Even as a student, I did not step into Starbucks more than 10 times. But as you can see at the mall, majority of the customers are students or working class people. I do asked myself, "How can people afford it?" Not only Starbucks, due to the technology that we have today called Facebook I see lots having drink at fancy places like Library to have a pine of beer, how much does that cost? I am sure it is more than RM 5. So coming back to square one, "How people can afford it?"

So far, some of the possibilities are,

• Is my pay that low? or it is just their pay is higher?
• Am I just stingy?

This can go on and on as there are numerous possibilities. But I feel that the best is, we ourself know what we want.Maybe its how they want their lifestyle is, after a hard day of work, its time to blow off some steam to enjoy with friends. This is a subjective issue, where there is no wrong or right answer.

Last Monday and Tuesday I went down to Terengganu for work. It is one of the places that I would like to visit other than Penang before I started work, however, the circumstances does not allow me to. Although I went there with not the ideal purpose ( no offense boss, it is just that I would like to go there for holiday instead of work along with my frens). The road towards Terengganu is awesome, one should really have a drive there. Yes it is a 7-8 hours drive, but with the beautiful view especially the Rantau Abang stretch where you can see the beach all along the way, it just make it worth it. It is some of the things that I would like to share with my frens and love one if possible.

There are a lot of amazing things just behind our backyard, although sometimes it feels lonely to travel alone, I know I have an amazing travelling partner unfortunately she is 2 hours away. * Rindu...*