If You Don't do it, You Don't Really Believe it. Some people spend their whole time searching for what's right, but they can't seem to find any time to practice it. Your life story is not written with a pen, but with your actions. To do nothing is the way to be nothing.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

A decade

How to start leh?Should say its been the longer hiatus I been away from blogging.  I could not find a better post than the previous one, but I got the urged to blog this time. Maybe is not the most appropriate of time as its just 6 a.m and people like Kok Jin just going to sleep, I know I have slides to do and need to compile it with the group a few hours more. 

As this semester coming to a close, certainly feels like a blink of an eye. Soon I have to say goodbye to everyone as everyone will walk their own  path. Knowing this, it makes me appreciates the moment more. Yes I know I'll be busy with my FYP even before the start, I anticipate it and it won't be a walk in the park. But I can say I am the lucky one. Having 2 supervisors, yes sometimes you get double the scrutiny, double the work, double of everything, and in between the double critics, there also be double benefit for me to improve on my work. Travelling up and down to Melaka every Friday, and trying to make time for the family on Sunday, is not cheap if you count the cost, but it feels rewarding when you feel you have a balanced between, work and personal life, although sometimes you just need time for yourself.

So 2011 came, and its a beginning of a new decade and end of another one. A decade ago my friend asked me which girl should he choose, a senior or the girl similar age to us. Am glad that I told him to choose the one with similar age to us. They are together ever since. This decade probably one of the most memorable and also I could remember most, the sweet memories of high school, and memories of university, where I leave the nest and time to fly. 

But the previous decade when I was 0-10 years old, certainly played a role in building my foundation. Yes I still remember the park that I played in and the nanny who took care of me. I wish I could see her again as I would visit her every time I went back for CNY, but news is, she left town to go back to her hometown in Segamat. I can proudly say I am a Kelantanese, without hesitance when people asked where is my hometown. There is really nothing bad about brought up in an Islamic state. If ask any of my friends they would know I am a pro-government, however I think we can take a look at Kelantan if we really want to achieve 1 Malaysia. I really miss the integration between races. Here in KL, sometimes being expose too much or having too many opinion on things, have it bad side. Back there, we just accept. My house over there is just less than 50m from the mosque, what ever time they pray, we just accept it. As a quote from the song Hijau "Apakah gunanya kematangan fikiran?, bila di jiwa kita masih lagi muda dan mentah"

But the most significant one should be the move to KL. It is just the 5 of us. Through hard time, through good time, it is just 5 of us. Nobody really did help, that makes us stronger.Raising 3 children in a metropolitan like KL is not really easy. There are lots of influence and lots of things can go wrong. Mixing with the wrong crowd, and its hard to make a U turn. I witness it myself when I see my friends today. Some I am still wondering why? Why did they not join me here.Money? There is always PTPTN. Deep down inside I just feel like it is just about the fame of joining private collage, which unfortunately they did not enroll either. But there is only So much you can do. I remember bringing them to cyberjaya open day. Ask the lecturer about the courses for them, and purchasing the form for them. 

Witnessing how hard my family struggle, I understand the situation, its hard to digest watching the play station at the game shop in mid valley. I want it, but I know my parents can't afford it. Yes I want that Nike shirt, but Nike is not cheap.There is always limitation, and if I asked for more, I am not sure if I would get it, but at the same time I know I will hurt my parents feeling because they could not afford it. To put things in perspective, Rm 10 can buy lunch for the whole family in Kelantan, over in KL, it can't even get you a Prosperity set. So with the same salary, imagine living in KL with 3 children that is growing.

But today although we are just slightly better, people look at us differently. I don't really like that. If you say you come from a small town, I could relate, if you say you are broke, I could relate.If you say you are rich I can't relate but I have richer friends. All the success of the family I should say its owed to my parents. 

This year is the year for me to work, I would like to follow my parents footstep, and leave the nest. Although the grass is not always greener on the other side, but there are whole lots of experience to gain from, for good or for bad.

What will this decade have installed for me? Work? Travel? Marriage? Kids? Only way to conclude this is,

'We propose, God dispose'


LUCKY_STRIKE_14 said...

A great post. *like*
Proud to be budak Kelantan. So am I...proud to be Budak Perlis...haha...

Lynda lau said...

Pulled an emotion string or two in me somehow when you talked of that Play station and Nike shirt.

Nice one.

julian said...

thanks guys