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sometimes do u feel like u are struggling in life? and what is the cause of it? instead of pointing 1 finger to others, why don we point 4 back to ourself? our life is what we make out of it.

but then as we all know, or i personally know, doin the and feeling the actual thing is way different then setting it out, on paper.i guess my biggest weakness is my strongest strength too. i mean i know almost all my weakness in myself as i always ponder what had happen in my life, but for others maybe, they don't know whats their weakness are, thus their ego can be ultra big. but den again, even if i know whats MY weaknesses are, thing is, i keep on repeating it. sometimes i wonder why? but i guess, its inside of my heart,no matter how much my mind try to stop it, or vice versa. for example, when i know i HAVE to study, but a part of me feel like i need to go out, why? because it makes me happy to have fun, don everyone feel happy to have fun? stuff like that, that makes the fall of me. even though the road is still long of me to find the real me, but i feel i have to find the real me, because like anybody, i wanna make it big and be succussful in life too... and not to mention to be happy at the same time. i guess its a balancing act that am struggling to do right now.

it takes a HUGE ammout of self disiplin to get control of oneself.its like the malaysian badminton player, once won a big tournament and they gone to a slump for years.its the tough mentalilty of oneself, and its not build overnight as it takes years and years to build.

tough there are lots more that i wanna write, right now i just cant find a way how to put it..