i have a bad year

some have asked why this blog seems to be emo or looks like something is wrong. well it all started in June 06, when i step into MMU and from there onward i've been like north korea, closed with any connection from the world. i do have a bad feeling bout coming here. after so many persuasion and yet am still here and soon which is next month i will seating for my finals and then, i've completed my foundation. doin something like engineering which am not into, and not pirsuing my childhood and lifetime dream of being a pilot do make me wanna :

am telling u my blue skies fade to gray
am telling u my passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

am stand in the line just to hit a new low
am faking a smile with the Milo i go
am telling u you my life's been way off line
am falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad year
am taking one down
i sing a sad song just to turn it around


much of a reason that make it hard to settle down is because maybe i just don click with them, as in classmates and most of the ppl here. although it is interesting to see view from ppl that come from all walk of life, it just sometimes just the conflict of attitude i guess.

and its hard to stay alone. i mean u need to experience it yourself to know how it feel. leaving alone on yourself in a place that u hardly know, and you need to do everything by yourself.and at times u do feel lonely unlike college where after a long day u just go back home, and no matter how annoying u r sibling can get, at least u can hav joy of making their life a living hell.plus being here without ANY of familiar faces also make it tougher. for example, most ppl probably go australia have their siblings or frens or church member that go to the same university or at leat live nearby.being here, there is no familiar faces in the 150km radius.

tho there r some plus side of being here.. the most clear 1 is at least i can know who is the real fren and who is wearing the mask and been waiting the chance to poke me and bitch around. yes sadly guys do bitch around but i doubt they are guys since the talk behind my back. i am thankful for those who are not so close to me at school and yet still remember me and also thankful for those who are close and finally show their colour.and am also very gretful that she is back in my life again...

whats been waiting for me i don really know..... mayb there is still twist in the plot of my story, it all lay on the Greatone's hand. yes the man up stair.i've plan a lot for my life but HE decides.