once me and a good fren of mine was talking bout our current education, he is a government U and me? private U? no matter how much we both complain bout how sucky our education and our time are, he draws a conclusion..
"kita ni, bukan orang senang,kena terima saja lah.."
i guess he was right. me or him not from those rich family that can afford a lot for our education,as our parents have limitied income, though they try to provide the best the could give for us.
at first i HATED to study in MMU, i mean i always feel like i deserve a much better place than this. it bug me a LOT.its a hard period. entering a university can be a morale booster for some, but for me, entering to this uni, crushed my confident,my morale, my interst in study. am not the student that i used to be, am lazy, not organise, and hardly even do my tutorial, and when exam comes, am struggling to past the damn paper.its like am free falling from the student that i used to be, why? i always wonder it. why cant i keep my sight straight as the battle is between me and myself, there are no need for comparing between cgpa's. but the environment here to makes me compare the cgpa sometimes. i mean all the people here talk bout cgpa's most of the time.
its NOT really been the best of time for me ever since entering MMu. my grades, are not very the top, losing "frens", aruging, fightin (not physically), a bit lost, having lots back at bangsar turn their back due to some event. life was a mess..
BUT, i know if i keep my chin up, i will find a way out of this.recently i find a bit like my old self again.i mean , i guess my fren is right, my family not rich, thus.. i guess i have to make do with studying in MMU, no matter how i dislike the course and subjects. environment wise, i guess i still in search for real frens. i mean, i find it hard to trust others as those that i trusted for years just can snap on my back with a blink of an eye. thus, forget them, am leaving good ole bangsar in about 5 monhts time. i sorely gonna miss it. no more reachin mid V in 10 mins. i guess i have to wake up about 2 hours earlier mayb? other than that, i gonna miss the place too.. as its so very convenient, though some people might turn their back on me back there, but there still lots of nice people living around. as i don wanna jinx it, think i can study better a bit now, after letting all that go. i know if i work harder and focus more, surely i would suceed one day. or maybe it just the exam timing. but i hope, my laziness don get into me next semester as i plan to visit the library more often. as for frens, i guess, i know who i could can on, mayb the list are shorter now, then before, i guess all i could do is cross my finger for them NOT to change their opinion on me. but no matter what i know i got my main support system in the UK right now, yes Ashley Chin.
i guess i gonna go back to study now.. circuit theory, though i blew up my field theory just now, due to some miscalculation on my stretergy to appraoch the paper. but for circuit, am not taking that chances...
"accepting a fact sometimes can be harsh, but when u have no other options,u just HAVE to accept it"
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